Hammours took revenge

Ticket prices soared for the highly anticipated game between the Stormin’ Oil Barons and the Abu Dhabi Hammours. Just a few days ago, the Oil Barons slaughtered the Hammours with a sounding 7-1 victory at home. Now, it was the Hammours who had home-ice advantage and took revenge by beating the SOBs 6-3.

Newcomer Suhail Al Muhairi scored 2 goals and assisted one. Guenther Jahrmann of the SOBs continues his scoring streak by adding another assist.

“All in all, I am extremely happy with the result and the victory”, Garnet Klassen (Hammours) said. “I think we were the better team and even our British import Sonny Thompson scored. That just shows you how weak the SOBs were.” Asked what the orange stain on his jersey was, Hammours goaltender Mike Gabert said “I had some Cheetos before and during the game. They are delicious and I think they help me to keep up my fitness level”.

“The game was very frustrating for me. It is my old team and they have traded me because I wasn’t willing to travel on the same bus as the rest of the team.”, forward Chris Reynolds mentioned. “The Oil Barons welcomed me with open arms and assured me that I do not have to do anything, not even passing to my teammates”, he added.

Jason Anderson wasn’t available for an interview but our reporter Cindy McShacklebone was able to ask him about his personal performance. He replied “Listen, sweetheart! I used to fly airplanes for a living and now I am living the dream of an underpaid, room-sharing hockey player. When you spend 24 hours with these guys, literally, and shoot 8 Jagerbombs before the game and still play like me…then….and only then…you can ask me that question.”


NHL Bob on Fire

The Abu Dhabi Storms won their first game of the season, beating the Bulldogs with 3 goals to 2. Man of the match was Lebanese superstar Bob Bornibyouk, who scored twice for the Bulldogs. Ryan Sergeant, the former WWE pro wrestler, assisted one goal. The Czech-Slovak brotherhood is still light-years away from its former glory and the owners are now seriously considering to sell one former east blocker.  

“Overall I am very happy with my performance, although I am not happy that we lost”, Bob Bornibyouk said. “People don’t call me NHL Bob for nothing. I have the skills to compete with the best and my two goals tonight are proof. I can’t tell you why I haven’t been called up to the big league yet but I am sure there are plenty of scouts who have my name on their notebooks.”, he added.

“In the UAE hockey is played a bit different and on a much faster pace than here” Paolo Reyes said during an interview at the most popular Philippine hockey show ‘Shot high, score low’ and added “those guys are so fast and they play with real skates. I have a hard time to compete but I think this may be part of a great misunderstanding: The Bulldogs wanted to buy Pablo Reyes, a Canadian ex-pro who has played for the Yellowknife Twig Smashers and was my neighbor in the Philippines. This Slovak guy came over asked me about Pablo, I understood Paolo, and I replied that it is me. He gave me a contract, I signed and now I am here. All I know about hockey comes from my PlayStation and Pablo’s stories he told when he had a few to many.”

Nonetheless, the ADHL welcomes Paolo and wishes him much success through the season.