SOB Undefeated

The Stormin’ Oil Barons won their highly anticipated clash against the Abu Dhabi Hammours 7-1, despite the fact that the SOBs had a very short bench. Only minutes before the start of the game the Oil Barons received good news: Luca Ciani has finally signed with the team and will defiantly help the SOBs in their 2018-19 campaign. The Finish power forward said “This is a great team. It is almost like a dynasty and I know the fans will love me because I am a great….no, let’s rephrase that….I am the best drinker on the team.”

The Hammours struggled to score on world-class goaltender Conner Stuart, who was beaten only once. The young team dominated the game in the fitness department, the SOBs managed to keep calm and showed the fans that experience can, sometimes, beat fitness. Nevertheless, the Hammours and the Oil Barons will face each other next Sunday. Fans are advised to buy their tickets from the usual scalping outlets around the Abu Dhabi Ice Rink.

“I did not expect us winning tonight because we had such a short bench” Dale Brown said after the game. “But then you have these nights were your wife delivers a baby and those were you score a hat-trick. One reminds you every day that your hard-earned money isn’t yours alone anymore and the other just grands you fame and glory forever”, he added.

Blake Mihalic said “We played awesome and at times, I think we played better than the 1980's Russian national team. The Hammours are might creatures of the sea but today there were merely a goggled-eye gold fishes. I am happy that I scored a goal and assisted one today and my kids have yet another day were they love me for being just an outstanding hockey player. I may have gained some weight but the hands is all it matters.”

Phillipp Mielenz, who assisted the only goal on the Hammours side mentioned during the press conference “Today those lazy Oil Barons may have won the game but next game, we will destroy them. Some of them don’t even deserve to skate on the same ice as we do. I really don’t like that team because of their constant whining and yelling and cursing….they kill the vibe.” Garnet Klassen added “It was just one of those nights were nothing works. We clearly lead by shots and puck possession but just didn’t manage to score. Coach Pierre had such a great half-time speech and I was mesmerized to a degree that I woke up 3 goals against us later. But what a speech that was!”

The Oil Barons are still undefended and sit on top of the table. The Hammours are in 4th place but hope to turn the table next Sunday.