THE EAGLE HAS LANDED

by ADHL

BREAKING NEWS!

Owner, president, and left wing Eddie Eksaengsri has made a brief appearance, playing for his beloved club last Monday. After being released for a week from a Bangkok prison, where he currently residences, serving a lifelong sentence for stealing his wife's ice cream, embezzling the club's US-$167.78 three-year hockey budget, laundering the team's jerseys, and extensively impersonating a social media party influencer, Eksaengsri was released on a bond to help his team securing the 3rd victory in a row. 

The Eagle, as many call Eddie Eksaengsri, is a glamourous, but controversial figure who appears on multiple social media sites as a party influencer, big spender, and constant advocate for a local dental practice by smiling ear-to-ear. In the past, Eksaengsri has run a sweatshop in Thailand, producing jerseys, swag, and other merchandise for his team the Abu Dhabi Eagles, and has been accused for inappropriate behavior while flying business class from Bangkok to Singapore. In a Kevin-like moment he loudly complained that the Champagne was "just too damn good" for the other guests, calling them "my servants". 

However, a few months ago, the Eagle was arrested by his nowadays wife, was sentenced by Thai court for life by putting a ring on the hand of the former special agent and model, and moved into a luxurious 7-star hotel, he calls prison because it does not have a Starbucks coffees hop. When Eksaengsri landed in Abu Dhabi, Eagles captain Tim Thorenton greeted the right winger back to the team, well knowing that his boss is signing paychecks by loyalty, not performance. 

We wish Eddie all the best for this future and hope that recovers soon from his CPS (compulsive party syndrome) addiction. 

The ADHL